Tuesday, October 20, 2009

It is time for me to confess

I have denied it ever since I was a kid, but I can no longer live like this. At 55 it is time to be open and honest about it. When I became a Christian at age 16, I thought that was the way to deal with this and I prayed hard and tried for 30-some years and then I was just realizing, I am still that way. I know I am. And I just reached a place where I cannot take it anymore — when I was going through all this darkness, I thought, "Just end this."

To be guilty of something that the Bible calls an abomination 4 times in 3 consecutive verses surely must make me the worst of the worse. I really don't know if I was born this way or perhaps something just makes me choose this thing. Maybe it is rooted in some need to rebel against God.

If people really knew who I was, that what I have done is an abomination, I would never be accepted.

Even though I rarely engage in it (I mostly try to tamp down the desire), I know in my heart what I really am. It is like I have two identities, one which people see and find acceptable and one which is a terrible abomination before the God who never changes, the one who says that not one jot or title shall pass from the law until all is fulfilled.

Despite being happily married for over 30 years and having children and grandchildren there were occasions in which I faltered. I thought I hid it well. I didn’t know people could see what I was going through, the darkness and the struggle. After I confessed my abomination to my family, my daughter said she was afraid to walk in my bedroom or kitchen because she was afraid she’d find me — that I’d done something to myself. And I didn’t even know they’d picked it up.

My family’s reaction took time, but the bottom line was they loved me and they still love me … it’s been an amazing journey of acceptance on their part … I was offered support and love from each member of my family, including my wife.

So now I must confess not only to my family but to all, all those who have read my blog posts and thought I was a citizen in good standing in the Kingdom of God. Though I may be an abomination in God's sight I pray for your forgiveness and understanding.

I am guilty of a quadruple abomination. Leviticus 11:10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:

11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcasses in abomination.

12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

I admit it! I love lobster and crab and clams and oysters. I have even eaten sea urchin! I have dined at the temple of the Red Lobster (more then once)!

I am guilty of the sin that has two more abominations in Leviticus then even homosexuality! Oh that my sin were just one abomination less! Perhaps then I could find some minor role to fulfill in religion.

If only something has changed between God and man. If only we were not bound to law, if only there was such a thing as a new covenant or grace! If only the law had been fulfilled!

Luke 24:44 And he said unto them, These are the words which I spake unto you, while I was yet with you, that all things must be fulfilled, which were written in the law of Moses, and in the prophets, and in the psalms, concerning me.

O joy of joys, the law of Moses is fulfilled! There is a new covenant, the old is passed away. Pass the butter and let the shell cracking commence!

John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

After we have mastered loving one another perhaps we will have time to worry about lesser things. Lets give it a couple hundred years or so first though.

Comments:

Ashley L - Those who defend, promote and live the lobster eating lifestyles have exchanged the truth of God for a lie. Many claim it's genetic or natural, so they expect others to accept this "alternative" lifestyle. But the truth is that God calls lobster eating sin, and with his help you always have a choice of whether or not to live in your sin

Angel H - God's rules are black and white. There is no gray area. My heart breaks for you, and you will be in my continuous prayers.

George T - Of course God loves the lobster eater that is not the question or the issue at hand. The issue is, is lobster eating behavior a sin? According to the Bible it is a sin. The lobster eater must also apply biblical truth to his life and remain pure and not eat lobster- according to the Bible. These are God's standards and not ours. We don't make the "rules", we just apply them to our lives. It is arrogant to thing we know better than a loving AND just God.

Sandra R - I have been listening to you since I was a young girl. You are an incredibly talented man. I'm sad to hear about how you struggled with lobster eating for so long. I love you, but I don't love your lobster eating lifestyle-the Bible clearly states lobster eating is a sin. I can't judge you, NONE of us can-we all deal with sinful urges on a daily basis. The best I could do is lift you up in prayer. Please cancel our buffet plans for next Sunday with your family.




Special thanks to Christianity Today for its article on Ray Boltz.

http://blog.christianitytoday.com/ctliveblog/archives/2008/09/ray_boltz_comes.html

3 comments:

  1. Bob,
    I really enjoy your writings and insights. This will be a great conversation with my family.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I ate an Eel in China Bob...I passed on the roasted Scorpions...

    ReplyDelete
  3. You`re a thoughtful writer and deeper thinker. Thanks for the link! Randall

    ReplyDelete

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